Happy New Year….
December 31, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
Wow! What an amazing year it has been. I had about four meltdowns, financial, health, love and now letting go of my home. I have learned with each experience, that the next one is easier. In this last week, I made a firm decision to put my house for sale. I have loved enjoying my butterfly garden and the comfort of this small cozy home for the past 15 years. The hard part is that where I am going, I cannot have Sparky, my labrador there. Read more
The Seeds are Sprouting from the Pods
December 21, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
It has been about two months since I was actively engaged in this blog. So many things have happened in this time. I created this blog with my sister and was waiting for her to “get going.” In the meantime, I created my own video blog at www.destineddreams.com and have been sharing my process about my financial meltdown there. I was giving my sister, Maria, time to digest an accelerated process that I probably took six years to integrate.
So I stopped bugging her to “get going.” In this video I talk about sharing clips from last year with Maria. I also talk about how we value ourselves. I will be posting her clips under the category, “Maria’s process. Hopefully the symbol of the seeds appearing will get her going.;-) Read more
Time for a Pause
November 1, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
I created this site with a lot of love and nurturing with my sister, Maria. We are collaberating as a team and are in the process of creating some great programs. Because we both are working in a “day” job, have kids and many obligations, to not cause stress to each other and our families, we are allowing this site to flow organically and in harmony.
We spent one year conceptualizing, visioning and dreaming. In our fast paced world, “time” is an issue. For this reason, we are taking a short break of a month to further nurture our dreams. Read more
Dear Life Letter
October 22, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
I had a dream last night that I actually died. I was laying in bed in a hospital and organically felt and saw what it was like to “pass on”. I don’t know if what I saw in the dream is actually what happens. I suppose no one can really say except God.
While I was emailing my sister, I got this insight of writing “dear Life letters”. It is not my real thoughts. I am inventing a fictional character that regrets not doing much in life, someone who was negative and had a bad attitude in life.
In that dream, after I died, this world, this body, had no more attachment. I wasn’t pulled to go back. Something else was pulling me somewhere else and I was not afraid. I didn’t know where but it felt peaceful. It was just interesting that the body which once had life could collapse and just be a blob and lay there on the bed lifeless. I guess that is how many people are anyway, like walking zombies confused and walking aimlessly in life, complaining and not doing anything constructive with their lives. That’s sad.
Of course when you are really confronted with real death, you will fight for “dear life”. People should start writing letters to “dear life”, like this:
“Dear Life, sorry I have been such a drip with my self loathing attitude that I am no good and I can’t do this and I can’t do that. Sorry I couldn’t really see how beautiful this earth, this creation really is. Sorry I took it for granted. And all the people that surround me and attempted to give me hope but with my bad attitude, I didn’t believe them.
I’m sorry I didn’t take advantage of understanding how much I really can contribute in some way and that I do have something of value. I was so just darn afraid of being taken advantage again. You know, who can you trust in this world anyway. I even bought into so many bad thoughts that I couldn’t concentrate on what good I could do. So dear life, be kind to me where you take me in what some people call the “afterlife”.
If it is called “after life” does that mean you are there too? Maybe then finally I will have a better life. Sorry I couldn’t make it better here. Oh well next time around, I promise to make it better. Just don’t give me that amnesia serum or that nasty bad hypnosis serum of all those distorted thoughts. I should of gotten out of that bad hypnosis earlier to see that you, Life, wasn’t so bad after all. Oh well, see you in the next one.”
Your truly,
Random Unnecessary Voice(Fictional Character)
My weakness is my strength
October 10, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
In 2002 I had a severe car accident which made me stop in my tracks and literally couldn’t walk for 1 year. It was a huge wake up call, which eventually led to reflecting a lot and spending time alone purposefully without a relationship with a man for the past 4 years.
The process to create a new foundation and to recreate my life was not an easy one. It took a lot of trust. It took a lot of faith. It took a lot of letting go, along with some aggravation,uncertainties and anxieties that popped up. But I persisted because the insights that I was getting in my heart were coming in much too strong. Read more
Letting go in Love vs. Bitterness and Pain
September 25, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
For the past three weeks, I have done a catharsis in the way of writing letters to this man that I let go of. It was my way of understanding my feelings and emotions that I didn’t know had gone so deep. What has happened is that the writings are so much that I believe it has turned out to a book.
I have been in the process of writing a book with my sister, but this kind of morphed out of me and it totally took me by surprise. So it will be published soon. I just have to transcribe all these letters which I wrote at all hours of the days including being woken up at 2, 3 or 4 AM. It somehow took over me. Read more
My feet feel grounded
September 17, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
I am feeling my feet firmly on the ground. Feeling stable and secure is
something that is being ripped out of - from under the carpets, so to say for a lot of people nowadays. In this financial crisis, Lehman Brothers going bankrupt, AIG Insurance being rescued by the federal government today, Merrill Lynch being bought out by Bank of America. Huge institutions worth hundreds of billions of trillions together are losing over 75% of their values. And at the same time, all of the
people that comprise these organizations are feeling devalued. Read more
Can you see any symbols?
September 11, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
The passion that I have for my dream is greater now than the infancy of this relationship. I feel there is a possibility that I am choosing to go in this
direction right now. That is where my heart is. I thought I could do both;
I’m not sure if I can. Maybe I will. But for now, this is where I’m being led.
A relationship does take time to nourish and to grow. And so it is with this new creative projects that I am doing with my sister. It all takes away from my free time, besides the fact that I’m also a mother,and I also love
to enjoy time with my family and friends.
We seem to be limited by time, but I realize that I limit myself in what I really want to achieve. Here I was confronted with finding a beautiful, potential relationship. Yet, it was broken up. Not by my intentions, initially. It was by fear, which we now realize. Now, I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m heading with the relationship; if I am or not. I’ve let it go for now.
It’s funny; I always look at symbols, any symbols around me. I was going to the bank, and there’s all these road blocks that say” Road Closed, Local Traffic Only, Under Construction, Detour.
That has been going on for one week on the road that I always usually take. I always take the same road, and then I keep getting into that road block/detour. I’m just going to take that as a symbol that right now I’m going into that direction, a new direction, and following my dream. This is a detour.If my dreams are to involve this man, I want to trust that, that God or a higher power will lead me to him. I just simply surrender right now into where I am led in my heart.
Going back to me and following my passion
September 11, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
For me, letting go of this short relationship that felt like a potential true
partnership at this critical juncture of time meant that I had to make
a choice. It was not whether I should meet another man .
It was a choice of stayingin this relationship or pursue my dreams, the creativity and the part of me that I finally discovered. I thought I could do both. And I think I probably still can. Read more
Being grateful and being led
September 10, 2008 by Blanca · Leave a Comment
This past week has been an interesting week in my new relationship. Things took an unexpected turn, and I broke it off. There is still a possibility for there is much in the sense of understanding, compassion, and love and kindness, great qualities that do exist between myself and this other person. However, I was feeling a disconnect on an emotional level. I was sensing probably his fear of getting hurt even though he didn’t project it that way. Read more
