Letting go in Love vs. Bitterness and Pain

For the past three weeks, I have done a catharsis in the way of writing letters to this man that I let go of. It was my way of understanding my feelings and emotions that I didn’t know had gone so deep. What has happened is that the writings are so much that I believe it has turned out to a book.

I have been in the process of writing a book with my sister, but this kind of morphed out of me and it totally took me by surprise. So it will be published soon. I just have to transcribe all these letters which I wrote at all hours of the days including being woken up at 2, 3 or 4 AM. It somehow took over me. Read more

Technorati Tags: personal growth, relationship, self development, self growth

Going back to me and following my passion

For me, letting go of this short relationship that felt like a potential true
partnership at this critical juncture of time meant that I had to make
a choice. It was not whether I should meet another man .  
It was a choice of stayingin this relationship or pursue my dreams, the creativity and the part of me that I finally discovered.  I thought I could do both.  And I think I probably still can.  Read more

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Let go or engage?

One of the things that  I saw a good friend go through in this
torturous letting go of an eight year relationship was her constant questioning.  What if it could have been this?  What if it could have been that, and what do you think he’s thinking?  What do you think he’s doing?  Do you think he loves me?  Do you think he loves the other girl?  No matter what, you’re mind just goes into a frenzy, of questioning
and questioning and questioning.  There’s never an answer.  I really feel that if two people really love each other it just will flow like that saying, if you let it go free and if it comes back to you, it was meant to be. If not it never was meant to be. It will just happen. 

  We, as human beings, are so worn out in these battlefields that we shut ourselves out of the experience when it gets too intense.  Because loving does entail pain and conflict sometime.  We get on each others nerves or sit back and say, “You know what, I choose to be alone and not engaged in this.”  The beauty of life is to engage because as you engage, its the vitality of life and passion.  To constantly engage and retreat and engage and retreat, it’s like a wave. 

Technorati Tags: letting go, relationship

The hurricane didn’t hit us

I have been writing these past days non stop some letters to myself which are addressed to my boyfriend. It is my way of letting go, writing letters. Its my way of releasing whatever range of emotions are going thru me instead of yakking my head off to my friends and driving them crazy. Here is an excerpt from today:

I just heard this morning that Hurricane Ike is not really heading in this
direction.  There’s been a lot of anticipation of this hurricane coming to
Miami, a Category Four.  Who knows what would have happened if we stayed together during these, as you call, times of uncertainty.  Maybe our
relationship would have been a Category Four and you were anticipating the
struggles and you just wanted to avoid the storm.  Just like Ike just went away,  I just went away. Maybe it’s easier.  But I do know that when storms happen, people pull together. Read more

Technorati Tags: relationship

A time to pause

As they say, there is a time and a season, and for me, the season of this
relationship which seemed to be flourishing has taken a turn in the wind. It is not out of conflict, but simply what I sense out of fear of embracing what can be so grand and expanding, but in the midst of uncertainty and limitations with him finding a job, it must be set free. Read more

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Strong yet Vulnerable

Its approaching that 3 month stage of getting to know someone new in a
relationship that has the potential to expand into something very deep and
beautiful. But those vulnerabilities kick in as you are attempting to establish whether or not the relationship is going somewhere or not.

Read more

Technorati Tags: relationship, Spiritual Growth

Be vulnerable or run away?

My “new” relationship with this man has continued. I have found that because my main purpose and intent is to have a divine spiritual and uplifting relationship, it actually makes me even more vulnerable. Before I covered up my vulnerabilities with a man, that deep core part of me that connects to God in my own way, and I safely tucked it in the hidden recess of my heart and soul. Read more

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21 days to a better view

That is how long it has been since I have blogged. This project for me has been like my little baby. I’ve nurtured all the messages I’ve written and feel in a way like I abandoned ship. But I do have good reason. I have been nurturing my soul in a new way. I met someone before my surgery and after my halo on my anklewas removed, I have been out like a free bird enjoying the light heartednessthat comes with dating some one new that feels like it has potential to grow into something deeper. Read more

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A New Scenery and Unexpected Surprises

Life has some unexpected surprises. During this time of crawling and having to surrender even more so to allow the healing on my ankle to take place with patience and calm, I had a guy call me that I had seen at a party one week before my surgery. Because of not really being able to move much in the beginning, we just talked on the phone and a couple of times has brought me dinner in this last month. Read more

Technorati Tags: growth and development, old fears, personal growth, relationship