I was reading in the paper the other day that there are less divorces here in Miami compared to last year. One of the reasons is because of the economy most people cannot afford to have two households. When equity was rising, you could cash out and buy something else. Right now, it’s not an option for most people. The article also states that it is possible that some couples may end up working it out. We have given up too easily in marriages. The marriage counseler says “I think we throw away our relationships too easily.”
I for myself was divorced in 13 years ago when my son was only 2 1/2. The intention of the marriage full fledged in Catholic church was to stay for a lifetime. When I got pregnant, I had a conscious intention that day to conceive. For me, that was divine. And today and every day of his life, my son is my most precious gift. He is the one that motivated to keep going when everything broke apart in the divorce and all my challenges. He has been my source of not giving up.
The complexities of the partnerships in marriage could probably fill a whole library. At least for my sons sake, I kept the intention of respecting him. I gave him the utmost care as a mother, sacrificing myself in many situations, for his well being. That is, after all, the role of a parent: to nurture what is conceived – a human being.
I haven’t yet found a man with whom to rebuild a new divine partnership. I have been unraveling patterns these past 5 years with the help of my sister who is a therapist. I wanted to understand why we act in so many screwed up ways, away from the beauty and divinity of a whole partnership. I am an idealist and in my heart have never given up hope that I could find it. I’ve taken the time to nurture myself these last years to find the beauty that does lie inside of me, at least to feel myself worthy enough. Why is that so hard?
I’ve been thru the ringer in relationships, the worst one after my divorce. My choosing unstable partnerships in the past has nothing to do with mental intelligence. It lies much deeper than that. Its about going to the core of who I am. It is a very vulnerable place. From there I can recreate or simply BE.
I recently met someone. Because I have gifted myself the time to feel more of my core, engaging with a man in a way that I never had is quite frightening. But it is what I want. I believe deep down everyone longs for a deep spiritual union with someone. The more you delve into your core, and if you are so lucky to be able to, you are really reaching a place that is home with God- right in your own heart.
Merging with a partner in union is like birthing that divine child, except in this case it would be a divine relationship. It has to be nurtured with the utmost care. Yes, I know easy to say. I haven’t experienced it yet. It’s what I imagine because of my deep connection with a higher source these last years. I nurtured that relationship.Now, I liken it to one like a best friend. I am lucky in that way. I hope to be lucky with a partnership as well.
I think it is time for more Divine Relationships. The question is: Can you allow yourself to be so vulnerable?
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