Being Grateful and Being Led

This past week has been an interesting week in my new relationship.  Things took an unexpected turn, and I broke it off.  There is still a possibility for there is much in the sense of understanding, compassion, and love and kindness, great qualities that do exist between myself and this other person.  However, I was feeling a disconnect  on an emotional level. I was sensing probably his fear of getting hurt even though he didn’t project it that way. 
Circumstances occurred and I just walked away.  And by getting myself the time to reflect,  and go within myself, I discovered the passion once again of my writing, my sharing and following my dreams and doing so many things to manifest those dreams. 

 I’ve been walking two weeks without my crutches.  I’m finally walking, still with pain, still bruising, still swollen, but I’m walking full-time without my crutches.  I’m grateful for this three month relationship.  A lot has happened in these months .

 Today, there is a possibility that I can go back, for this man did share some deep feelings that I have never seen before. Of course, it was through e-mail. (It was my doing. I needed my quiet time and he respected it.) Sometimes, we don’t share our deepest thoughts face-to-face,
eye-to-eye, and when we’re confronted with the possibility of loss, that’s when  true feelings may or may not come out. 

 I did not break off with the intention to make him express any feelings. I just broke it off because I thought there wasn’t any deep feeling on the level that I needed to connect.  There were spiritual , mental and physical connection, but not on that deep organic raw feeling level, which is what a lot of us are so afraid of, that vulnerability.

  So there is always the possibility to go into a different direction, and for me, that  direction  is in my dreams  and visions which have been strongly planted in the last year.  I reawakened my dream that I have put aside in these months when I was having the surgery and stressed out because of the real estate market.  The passion that I have for my dream is greater now than the infancy of this relationship. I feel there is a possibility that I am choosing to go in this direction right now, so that is where my heart is. I thought I could do both;I’m not sure if I can. Maybe I will. But for now, this is where I’m being led.