Can You Leave it Alone?

That is what I have been, in frustration, yelling to Sparky( my 100 pound Labrador), every time he licks his wound.  He got angry when the groomers shaved him for the first time. It was my sister’s suggestion to avoid shedding so much hair.  Instead, all I have done is shed grief for 4 months and his wound doesn’t get better. It hasn’t gotten infected because I have given him antibiotics, gone to 2 veterinarians, applied sprays that the vet gave me, and holistic creams, muzzles, collar, special “bite not collar I bought of the internet, etc….  He is a mighty stubborn dog . I have also gone through countless gauze, bandages  and tape which has pulled off. 

Last week I found a foot brace with a hard plastic covering at CVS pharmacy and thought that would work. He managed to find a way to yank it off. Of course, he does this when he sees I am not looking. And to boot, I am working out of the house, so I am on constant guard.  

The other day, I even put cayenne pepper outside of the bandage . It looked like that would finally work, but by the next day, he was licking the cayenne pepper! When I lose it, he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes and I go and give him love, stroking him and hugging him hoping that would work. (All to no avail!) The problem is that if it doesn’t heal, his paw will need to get amputated.  

I waver from letting go, frustrated with a migraine and yelling angrily at him: Can you leave it alone? The longest he left the bandage on was three days when I stayed inside  in my own house watching him 24/7. I told my son the other day I felt like one of those intervention programs for addicts.  But he is just a dog. His instinct is to pay attention to it. And believe me, that is all he does.

I did a 21 day process in November confronting my own financial meltdown.  I did this process for myself and ended up turning a negative into a positive.  Instead of sticking my head in the sand and ignoring what was happening, I gained so many insights and strength to where I was heading.  Maybe Sparky’s wound was mirroring something that I needed to  heal. (See here for  Sparky drama and 21 day video process) I realized in my worst financial state what value I had inside and what I was capable of contributing.  My own self accountability in these 21 days started as a way to show my son the value of not giving up on my dreams. And by day 21, I did something I never dreamed would happen. I sent a book manuscript to a publisher.

What do we do as human? We do the opposite. We constantly avoid healing our own wounds because it hurts. It takes alot of willpower and  determination to pay attention to these things. Who wants to feel pain anyway?  We distract ourselves to no end to suppress our pain and inflict ourselves with addictions and ignore the signs that tell us to slow down. 2009 is a good year to simplify and get more attuned to your true nature. The external signs are all over the place.  We need to pay attention and shift the course of our lives. You never know what surprises may appear.