Its now 12:30 at night or going to morning more accurately. I spent the last hour first looking at my left calf which has has absolutely no movement or activity in the last 3 weeks. Also the muscle has atrophied considerably in the last year and a half since my ankle was so swollen and it didn’t have the proper flexing.
As I observed this poor flabby calf compared to my right leg which has been getting all the work, it looked pretty dreary and was getting bummed thinking, “It’s only going to get worse”. As I sat there observing it, I directed attention to the muscle that was not there, at least I couldn’t see it visibly AT ALL and which I knew at one point was there.
After all I was a runner for 25 years before 2002. I always liked flexing that calf and seeing that muscle. It was a visual to me to how in shape I was. So seeing it just lifeless and NO muscle was pretty depressing to me. But suddenly as I put my attention to it, the muscle which was not visible started to twitch. “it became Alive!” I said to myself. “Yeyyy, its alive!”
So there I lay on my bed between 11:30PM to now and sent messages with my brain to get that muscle moving. I can’t bend the ankle because its fixated on the apparatus. But I was able to focus my attention only to the muscle and my mind did the work and it moved. I am very excited to report that, if I can remember, I can hopefully by next month regain at least 50% of the “lost muscle”.
That’s how it is with our innocence and the freshness of our youth. We become so battered by the trials and tribulations of our lives that we forget that deep down there is a free spirit yearning to say, “Hey, remember me,I’m still here. I’m alive!” Pay some attention to me ,will ya.?” How many times do we forget that little voice inside that says, “Lighten up, be happy and free.”
I had my son come and look at my muscle while it twitched because i was so excited. (He wasn’t so thrilled) You know that kind of twitching that kind of happens automatically. I guess it’s the activation of the muscle once stimulated, it starts twitching and trembles for a few seconds thereafter. And before you know it, if attention is put to it everyday, it will become like it was before.
Of course the key is to pay attention. And like most of us today we are so bombarded with so much data and so much stress that barely time fits in to even take care of our fitness routine. And our soul-fitness routine, even less, until the wound comes out and requires immediate attention. That is why challenges come into our lives, to allow us to go deeper .into the recesses of our souls.
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