Last night after I wrote my last post, I stayed up on the computer for a bit, then laid down to watch some Tivo recordings. I watched the interview of Elizabeth Edwards with Oprah. She said that whatever has happened with her husband’s extramarital affairs doesn’t affect her.
Although I disagree, I give her a lot of credit for taking that stance because she is also dealing with a terminal illness, cancer. She says the doctors don’t tell her how long she has to live. It could be one year or 10. The point is that she is diagnosed with something terminal. So she is focusing on her family and what she has built to attain that bubble of the “Edward’s family.” And most importantly, she is focused on her small children. That is admirable and it takes a lot of courage to take that stance.
If I were diagnosed with terminal cancer and at the same time find out that my husband was having an affair AND have small children to attend to, it really would be too much too bear. That is why I support her stance. Personally, I would leave the man. Who cares that they built a 23,000 sq. foot dream home three years ago. What good is a huge house if that house is filled with thoughts of betrayal? I’d rather be alone.
But of course, there are the children to consider and their emotional stability. So I understand why she would sacrifice her honor to prioritize her role as a caring and responsible mother. A very sad situation indeed and on top of that she has to deal with thoughts of leaving her children alone if she were to die soon.
Today, I gave myself the afternoon off. I felt a lot of pain in my heart for the loss of Sparky. I have been peaceful for how he died suddenly, didn’t suffer and that I was hugging him when he died. It was a peaceful picture in my mind. But today, I woke up feeling very sad. My sister says it is part of the mourning process. Sparky was not just a pet. He was my companion for the last nine years. He was with me during the most difficult times of my life. I worked a lot out of my house in those years and in the last year it has been 24/7. He followed me around my 1500 sq.ft home everywhere I would go and lay down near me, on the computer, in my room, in the dining room, in the kitchen….everywhere.
He was not just a pet, he was a huge part of my every day life.: the ultimate companion. I gave myself the time to cry most of the day and grieve this loss. Elizabeth’s Edwards pain is much more intense. But my heart was feeling pain and I needed to move through it. I am happy for the love that I gave Sparky and the love that he gave back to me unconditionally.
It seemed in the interview that Elizabeth Edwards is a woman of honor and has loved her husband unconditionally. But did he? I know I will be able to go through this process of grieving and feel completion in my heart about Sparky, my beautiful Labrador.
But imagine, living with a man that you have been intimate and have loved for 30 years, have a terminal illness and wonder if this man has loved you unconditionally. I am sadder for her and can’t imagine the pain she must be in. In betrayal there is a greater loss which is trust. So I imagine one grieves for the loss of the trust. It is no wonder that she chooses to compartmentalize and separate his other life. Other wise she might go crazy. She is doing the right thing because of the children. I admire her for that. I don’t know if she will have completion in her heart. Hopefully, the comfort of her children and the love she can still give them is enough to keep her going.
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