How am I going to create real estate deals in the next months sustain me in this critical time where I literally have hit bottom in my finances, like many realtors have. I know many have hit bottom because I see it in the listings I had. I know the personal stories of the people first hand.
In the USA today newspaper this morning, it says that electric disconnects are up by 14%. Because of rising food prices and gas prices, people are not able to pay their electric bill. I know the bottom is being reflected in so many ways and the effect is that much pain in so many other forms is coming to the surface. A friend called me yesterday who is a realtor in Orlando and she has no more income, is going to lose her house because she can’t afford the payments any longer. Her house is worth $100,000 less than it was over a year ago and she had to go out and look for a job. But the pay is about half of her previous income, and as a single mom with no other means of support.She has no choice but to let go of her home. T
he devastation is widespread and is spilling over to every segment. Even my friend that is a manicurist has seen a drop in income by half and she herself bought a townhouse 2 years ago and the same situation . What is going to happen in the next few years, the effects of all this? It is massive bleeding, and therefore massive pain- like the throbbing on my ankle. It is raw and very much present, we cant hide the pain anymore. We are all in a way affected by this “bottom” in more ways than financial. How are we as a nation going to cope with all this “pain”? How are we going to get back on track? When everything our homes have no more value, so much uncertainty, and even our currency is crashing and hitting bottom. How is this devaluation of the dollar, of having no worth on a large scale of our equity and bank accounts affecting our own sense of self worth, how we feel inside.
For me personally, as a single mom, I know that in these last weeks of mini meltdowns, I have felt like a failure to my son. How could I have gotten in this situation? I was so mad, questioning, Why, Why? Luckily because of the time I have spent in the last 5 years in another bottom after my car accident, I learned it was the most liberating experience of my life. Yes liberating. Hitting bottom was liberating, because I found something so much greater, so much more beautiful inside of my own heart.
I found it in my own home, in my own times of quiet, I did find peace, I did find comfort, I did find a great strength of a higher source, of feeling the presence of God, very raw, very there, not hidden, but very present and that is what kept me going in the most difficult of times in getting back on my feet, literally.
Now I have a minor setback, a time to reflect again off my feet, but I know I will come out of this strong. I have done it before and I can. I know I can. I just need these times to reflect, to go back inside so I can feel God present within me- right here in my heart- totally raw, because when I allow that, the raw wounds of my pain become nothing when the presence of God envelopes all my pain and brings a comfort to my heart, beyond the comfort and protection a Mother gives to her newborn, child… way beyond it.
Because in those moments, I am enveloped by this God force, simultaneously nurturing and protective, like a mother and fiercely potent in its strength.and sense of safety, like a father. In those moments, I know that there is nothing to worry about. I am not alone. I am guided by this Divine presence and therefore, nothing, absolutely nothing can go wrong, even though on the exterior everything seems to be crumbling in front of me. In my case, many of my bones were shattered, were crumbled and in those worst of times, I never, ever felt alone. I was relieved for I KNEW and FELT that presence always there.
What happens is that once you feel better and you are back on your feet, there are so many distractions that get in the way from just being in those quiet moments of reflection, of being silent to be in awareness of this precense. It is always there. We just don’t pay attention. So many other things take up our time.
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