Tag: love

  • Love Reflects Love

    esperanza plates
    See Video Clip at End of Post

    Today my guitar teacher’s husband unexpectedly, yet peacefully, died in his sleep at 90 years of age.  I have been taking guitar classes for a couple of years .  He sat in to watch me practice many times and always carried a smile on his face.

    Tonight I went to the viewing at the funeral house. I could see how heartbroken Esperanza was. I admired the love they shared and and had the privilege of seeing this beautiful couple completely in love after over 60 years of marriage. I was remembering the day I had videod them two years ago. Luis had celebrated his 88th birthday on August 20th. 

    On that day, Esperanza showed me five plates that were given as a birthday gift. I mentioned to Esperanza that I wanted to take pictures of the plates because of the symbolisms. When I got home this evening, I looked in my computer and realized that the day that I did the video was on September 25, 2007 – exactly 2 years to the day he died.  (more…)

  • Where Is Home?

    Home Sweet HomeI just came back from seeing the movie Julie & Julia. It was very inspiring for me for two reasons: I used to love to cook gourmet food & I love to write. The movie is about the true story of two women, Julia Child and a young married woman who just turned 30 who starts blogging about her passion, food.

    When I was about 18 years old, I started reading recipes from Gourmet Magazine. I would read about 50 recipis and visualize them in my mind. I would then pick out one that I would imagine would taste the best and try it out. I started with desserts. Later, I moved on to full meals and even buffets. I even did the whole buffet for my own baby shower 16 years ago. (more…)

  • Acknowledging Our Real Value

    dollars-50-100I was talking to an acquaintance who has been very successful in business.  For her, there seems to be a lack of acknowledgement of the love that she feels from her mother.  Not for her mother, but from her mother. Her mother grew up  feeling  lack financially, and even though her mother was  a hard worker and able to create a good sustenance financially, for some reason she projected unconsciously, all this lack from her upbringing to her daughter. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her, because I know she does.

     Her daughter, my friend has overcompensated,  by creating a life filled with so much joy, so much love and generosity of spirit for a tremendous amount of people, including a tremendous amount of financial stability and financial wealth.  What she feels still in her heart, is a sense  of lack, because she thinks she is needing  acknowledgement from her mother to feel filled.  (more…)

  • Strong Yet Vulnerable

    It’s approaching that 3 month stage of getting to know someone new in a relationship that has the potential to expand into something very deep and beautiful. But those vulnerabilities kick in as you are attempting to establish whether or not the relationship is going somewhere or not.

    At an older age where there has been divorce and other disappointments, its hard to trust and be free and vulnerable. Then there comes into play the children and blended families. How can all this be embraced in a harmonious way. Right when you think something is going so good, the axe may come and rip it apart.  I meditated today, reminding myself what I wrote to a friend who is suffering from a very broken heart- to feel whole in herself, to feel her heart mending so she can love once again freely and happily.

     In my case, I spent many years alone(4) since my last relationship, and have mended much within myself. But love is so vulnerable, that even though I feel strong in my heart, I have to remind myself that I am doing it different now, and see the wholeness within myself, free of lack. This way I can ground myself more fully with who I am and if it is to come that the relationship gets axed by whatever party involved, I will not be so broken.

     I will be able to move freely without any loss. Yes, the words are easy to say, but when that vulnerability and rawness is so open and
    present, you can’t but help to going into the sensation of sadness if something is to break up. I have felt some confusion and questioning this past week if this is possible while juggling all my other things_ work and time with my son and time for myself.

     After reflecting I thought that if something is meant to be, and it is truly real, then God can rearrange all events so that it can flow and
    be harmonious. Again, I am surrendering to whatever is my own highest good. The vulnerability is there. I am starting to feel a lot for this person, yet when the uncertainty comes into play, I tend to close up to not feel that vulnerability. But I don’t want to close up. I want to feel whatever fears come up and move through them and trust that God will guide me in my highest path

  • 21 Days to a Better View

    rain-bow-butterfly-mcmuseumThat is how long it has been since I have blogged. This project for me has been like my little baby. I’ve nurtured all the messages I’ve written and feel in a way like I abandoned ship. But I do have good reason. I have been nurturing my soul in a new way. I met someone before my surgery and after my halo on my ankle wasremoved, I have been out like a free bird enjoying the light heartedness that comes with dating some one new that feels like it has potential to grow into something deeper.

    It has caught me totally by surprise, but after a few weeks of enjoyment of the newness, imy mind had bursts of outrage, like ” are you out of your mind?” What if he is some clever, manipulating and calculating one that is pretending to be nice.” “Don’t fall into that trap again,or its all
    over”. I felt myself like I was ready to fall into an unknown territory
    especially since it feels so “right”. The bottom line is trust- much of what has been broken in the past. I realized that my fear is not only a broken trust, but a broken heart. Who wants to go thru that again. (more…)