Its 2PM. I am here in the hospital. The surgery went well. The pain has been intense. I think all the nerves in the foot and all the diggings , as the doctor put it, to take out all the pins caused a lot of discomfort. One pin, he said was right on the joint and two were so deeply embedded he had to leave them. I was given morphine and a nerve block the first day coming out of surgery.
The moment I woke up from the anesthesia last week, my brain went into complete shock. The doctor had said in the pre-op room that I was going to go home after the surgery. Yeah right! I am screaming in torture seeing doctors, anesthesiologists and many others wherever I was. I think I saw my doctor scrubbing his hands and I looked at him probably my eyeballs coming out of my eyes saying, “helpppppppppppp!!!” The first words out of his mouth were “don’t worry, you are staying here tonight.”
Immediately, two doctors came to me and did a nerve block to reduce the pain that I was feeling on top of the morphine. That was day one and pretty much for the next day I was on intravenous medication called Dilautin. A friend took a picture of me and sent it to a bunch of friends and it was posted on facebook. I got emails from all over saying. “Wow Blanca, you look great and radiant.” Well I guess Dilautin, something similar to morphine, makes you look fake radiant at least on the outside. That’s good, because I was feeling mighty calm and groggy and deliriously spaced out.
It really freaked me out how one shot instantaneously blocks pain. I
could feel it moving to my veins and in my heart and down to my whole body. “ Wow”, I thought, “Is this how heroine addicts feel when they get high?” In an instant,I was snoozing and knocked out in a calm state. But if i tried to get up, I would get nauseaus and throw up.
I liked that it blocked my pain, but I hated the way it blocked the alertness in my mind. After four hours it wore off and I needed another pill. I just had surgery under general anesthesia, so its understandable. It made me think in that “high” state how people hide in their different kinds of pains – emotional pains, old wounds and bury themselves in addictions to cover them.
Leave a Reply