Today I finally went to the beach. It has been over six weeks since I go and find my peace there. As I was walking towards the beach, my sister emailed me. She asked me why I was ignoring her. To be fair to her, she did call me a few times this week. But I was busy when she called. I remember waiting all day the trademarks were going to expire wondering if she would call. She never did.
So today, my blood boiled over when she said I was ignoring her. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was angry. I emailed her back that I would talk to her when she reads my blog. I know I must resolve this anger because she is my sister – of the same flesh and blood. She also happens to be the only person I would trust if I were to partner with someone. I am angry because I don’t want to expect anymore. It creates a yo-yo wackiness in my mind. I believe that when you commit to something, you must follow through. I only question now if her commitment was real. I don’t want to wonder anymore why she doesn’t step up to the plate.
As I was sitting writing on the beach, I saw two young girls in the water ecstatic about seeing some minnows. They had a little net attempting to catch them. I took some pictures and joined them in the water. They were three years apart in age, 7 & 10. That is the same age difference between my sister and I. I smiled at their glee and their announcement to their mom in the distance: “Mommy, we found a school of fish! There’s a million of them!”
I joined them in the water. I observed how amazing the hundreds of fish moved in unison and stayed together. It was like a spontaneous synchronized dance. They flowed together effortlessly. Why can’t two people in partnership flow just like that? I suppose fish don’t doubt themselves. They just exist in their environment and live each day to their own tune. I had to stop questioning all the why’s our business partnership didn’t happen. I can let go of my anger when I only see her as simply my sister. That will never change and I hope I can continue to move forward and remember that simple truth.
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